humor

6 days ago8 min read

"Succulus" by Tim Boiteau

Emma had been moving in since we started dating six months ago, one little object at a time—a chartreuse toothbrush sprouting out of the...

"The Winningest Cheerleader" by R. C. Barajas

Dec 24 min read

flash

"The Winningest Cheerleader" by R. C. Barajas

Remember Charlie Bischman? Ponytail science geek, used to watch us from the bleachers? Well, Stacie, guess who drunk-dialed me in August?...

Nov 910 min read

humor

"The Grate Debate" by B. P. Gallagher

“You’re everything that’s wrong with this country, do you know that?” “Me? I’m sorry sweetheart, I thought that was your side.”...

Sep 305 min read

humor

"RoboHub H2" by Chris Cottom

Good morning, you’re through to RoboHub Technical Support. You’re speaking to Anil today. Can I start by taking the serial number? It’ll...

"Taylor Swift Stole My Daughter" by Kirsten Oerke

Sep 244 min read

humor

"Taylor Swift Stole My Daughter" by Kirsten Oerke

Someone, please help me get these Taylor Swift songs out of my head. It’s not my fault, it’s my tween, Hailey. She plays the pop...

"The Secretary of State for the Heavens" by Simon Ravenscroft

Sep 241 min read

humor

"The Secretary of State for the Heavens" by Simon Ravenscroft

One day the sky turned red and the public blamed it on the new Secretary of State for the Heavens. On the contrary, said the Secretary of...

"THE DAY I BECAME A TED TALK HATER" by Zoé Mahfouz

Sep 33 min read

humor

"THE DAY I BECAME A TED TALK HATER" by Zoé Mahfouz

Hi everyone, my name is none of your business and I’m a TED Talk hater. Watching TED Talks started out as a distraction. Something...

"A Writerly Text: Or When Your Inner Critic Somehow Saves Up Enough Money to Buy A Refurbished iPhone" by Beth Kanter

Aug 43 min read

humor

"A Writerly Text: Or When Your Inner Critic Somehow Saves Up Enough Money to Buy A Refurbished iPhone" by Beth Kanter

Me: Aren’t you supposed to be writing? Me: How can I write when you keep pinging me??? Me: So it’s MY fault? Me: It’s ALWAYS your fault....

"For someone better at small talk" by Karen Walker

Jul 72 min read

flash

"For someone better at small talk" by Karen Walker

For someone better at small talk it would've been as easy as pie to delight while standing in line at the bakery behind a woman and a...

"Death is texting-he has a job for you" by Lucy Brighton

Jul 73 min read

humor

"Death is texting-he has a job for you" by Lucy Brighton

Mark: Pick you up in half an hour. I better get ready, the new underwear I bought is waiting for me to slither into before the date. I...

"What the Serial Killer Said" by Arthur Mandal

Jun 232 min read

flash

"What the Serial Killer Said" by Arthur Mandal

There’s a brand of packaged dates called ‘Deri Dates’. Tesco does them. Allow me a moment to express the disgust and repulsion this...

May 2710 min read

humor

"The Workshop" by Lori D'Angelo

Clive Owen, a former acrobat who’d stayed in shape, came to graduate fiction workshop each week in an azure-colored leotard. The only...

May 42 min read

flash

"Ann Presents" by D.B. Miller

Ann presents with tenderness in the mandibular and a new spring haircut. The clinical exam and radiographs reveal no decay or obvious...

"The Soft Glow of Humanity" by Sydney Bollinger

May 43 min read

flash

"The Soft Glow of Humanity" by Sydney Bollinger

Mary Alden sits on the futon, next to her dead body, with her eyes narrowed and arms crossed. “I used the scythe to extract the soul from...

"To Jessica Schwartz, From Your Designated Demon:" by Katherine Schmidt & Natalie Wolf

Mar 312 min read

poetry

"To Jessica Schwartz, From Your Designated Demon:" by Katherine Schmidt & Natalie Wolf

To Jessica Schwartz, From Your Designated Demon: In 6,000 years of existence, I have never had anyone summon me over 200 times in a...

Feb 412 min read

humor

"Irrational Fears" by Mark Barlex

Check-in was smooth, baggage drop easy. The absence of belts, buckles, coins and earrings meant she cleared security having expended a...

"I Airdropped My Pussy to Everyone in This Airport" by V Garmon Koski

Jan 216 min read

humor

"I Airdropped My Pussy to Everyone in This Airport" by V Garmon Koski

It took one misclick. As a checker and rechecker I let the impulse to recheck go just once. And in one fell swoop, I airdropped my pussy...

"How to Live a Fulfilled Life" by Tyler Plofker

Jan 77 min read

humor

"How to Live a Fulfilled Life" by Tyler Plofker

1.) Wake up. It is important to first wake up. Set your alarm for 4:59 a.m., but wake up at 4:58 a.m. This will establish your dominance...

Jan 49 min read

humor

"Persistence" by Amy DeBellis

"This has gone far enough,” snapped Maurice Sterling, head editor of The Story Quarterly (TSQ). He paced back and forth in the editors’...

"When it Comes to Breakfast, I Don’t Tread Lightly..." by Loukia Borrell

Jan 14 min read

humor

"When it Comes to Breakfast, I Don’t Tread Lightly..." by Loukia Borrell

When it Comes to Breakfast, I Don’t Tread Lightly. I am Naked, Alone, and Locked in my Bathroom Eating Forkfuls of Frosting. For the past...