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"4:00 a.m. again (3-21-22)" by Belinda Subraman



4:00 a.m. again (3-21-22)


and no sleep

I tried forest sounds

including a stream and an owl.

I tried happy tv

traveling, remodeling

other animals in their habitat.


I tried counting breaths

and soft music.


I tried acupressure

and the mantra

“be here now”


I tried silence

and the static was deafening


Pills aren’t working.


My reoccurring depression

blossoms in a toxic reality.

I tuned into WW3

thinking avoiding it was not working

and that didn’t work either.


Over 3 million refugees

from Ukraine have run for their lives.

My heart races for them

as my body slowly disintegrates

and the world as we know it explodes and burns.

Annihilation a possibility.


Night is too dark

for sleep



In 2020 Belinda began an online show called GAS: Poetry, Art & Music which features interviews, readings, performances and art show in a video format available free at http://youtube.com/BelindaSubraman An online journal by the same name is here: https://gaspoertyartandmusic.blogspot.com/

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