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"Affliction", "How Vicious, How Cruel", & "Stinging Nettle" by Sadee Bee



Affliction


An echo chamber of endless voices–

feeding delusions–you say–I live in–live with.

Of what kind–I am not certain.

Only you can make clarity feel like psychosis.

Years I spent in a chamber–filled with only

your voice. The pedestal you perched upon–

I rested beneath happily.

Hoping–one day–to build one of my own.

You assured–yours would be the only one

we would ever need. That sitting with you–

Near you was more than enough.

Is that not delusion?

Not of grandeur but of love–of possession.

To believe I would never need to grow.

That wanting was merely–a symptom

of my afflictions. My only affliction

was my blind belief–in the nature–

of your heart.



How Vicious, How Cruel


Such cruelty / you say / I reek of /

That evil / rests / in my bones /

I have / never known / myself to be /

this way / is it cruelty / to simply /

want more? /

From the dirt / we clawed / our way /

to something / meaningful /

Bonded / through strife / I only wanted /

You to heal / with me /

How vicious / I must be / to want you /

Whole //



Stinging Nettle


Such venom from lips, that once spoke my

name so sweetly. Thick–putrid drips–at the

utterance of every syllable. A voice that

once soothed, now stinging nettle against

my skin. A punch to the gut–filling my heart

with hornets. I am frightened.

This vitriol–wrapped in a man–has altered

the person I knew. How have you forgotten,

that you loved me? I could never forget–

how much I loved you.




Sadee Bee (They/Sher) is a queer artist and writer inspired by magic, strange dreams, and creepy vibes. Sadee is the Visual Arts Editor for Sage Cigarettes Magazine and the author of Pupa: Growth & Metamorphosis (Alien Buddha Press) and Magic Lives In Girls (kith books). Her visual artwork will also be exhibited by Influx Gallery. Bee can be found on Twitter @SadeeBee, on Instagram @sadee__bee, and on the web at linktr.ee/SadeeBee.

Komen


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