I plod down the street to the corner
a walker as my guide
careful to navigate the cracks on the sidewalk, heat bouncing off the
pavement.
Inside the store sweat drips down my back and my chest in rivers
I pass by aisle one and two
sharp right
tugging open the glass door at the end of aisle three I stick my head in the freezer.
I suck it all in,
chest tightening
exhale, small misty clouds
the air is heavy and dense, cooling the heat on my cheeks
towers of frost-covered boxes, glassy crystals line the metal shelves
underneath.
Ice cream,
sandwiched between cookies
floating on root-beer
with cake topped with browned meringue.
creaminess coats the inside of my mouth,
no rules, no restrictions
no shame
numb tongue, dancing on my tastebuds.
My mood soars
Closing my eyes, brain-inducing dopamine fuels the fire of
gran’s homemade gelato, dense smooth delight
dad’s sorbet, sweetened with fruit and liqueur
sundaes drowning in chocolate sauce,
Snow cones and slushies, crushed ice with flavoured syrup I created for
my kids, long scattered across the globe now
memories of making friends, courting lovers, family around the table
counting blessings-
Ma’am? the clerk mops his brow, that door’s been open over thirty
seconds
Through the cloudy glass, I agree
but he’s wrong
it’s been unlatched for decades, emotional well-being, flashes of a
lifetime
Still, I smile,
he’s too young to understand
how at my age it’s a slog even to get out
how for people the likes of me?
all we have to grasp onto are
reminders
caches of recollections
freezer therapy