Bill Resurrected
just a day after
hearing of his passing
I saw Bill at the liquor store
tonguing a toothpick,
signing contracts in the air
it was a worthy attempt
to get this over with
at empire’s end
caught in the mouth
and hanging out
‘neath the corner guillotine
it was whispered myth, his death,
there was a rock yet to push
out front the tomb, up the hill
he stood like folded paper
about to bend again,
to be reborn again
on the bench brown bagging
and just after Mary wipes his feet with her hair, he’s stumbling through the daytime, seeing by the world’s light
if we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him,
they’ll gather ‘round in worship,
they’ll expedite the end
so I take time to appreciate this morning with a Mexican Coke
and an ice cream sandwich,
smiling
Congratulations
arriving at island’s end
the duck pond ducks
have made a friend in me,
having forgiven me
for making an omelette
from their eggs
in the spring
most days I unhitch
the two-person swan boat
and pedal in a circle
while my face wavers in the pond
most days I fish for every meal
and pray for forgiveness
for the pain that I’ve caused,
that I’m causing when reeling up
their auburn eyes
even now, with my beard grown
to the point that people keep their distance,
I do not feel much has changed,
I cannot say just what
has kept me through the nights
with the lights from the lampposts,
the science museum
and the towers
detracting from the aurora
I’ve told the ducks about
my wife taking the tables
and how I was sprawled
on the ground eating ramen
reading by candlelight
until law enforcement
spun the deadbolt
I’ve told them how special I was
and after carving my face
in the ancient dirt, they pulled
the worms from it
they and I know that
no angel is appearing
in a North Face Jacket
or Patagonia cap
unless it is an angel
of displacement
we all laughed
when I told them about how I
drove the retired teacher
to his DUI case that morning
a few weeks before joining them
on this island,
it was that drive,
that dust and snow whipping
in the dark,
giving way to sunrise
in the upper valley
when I realized
all I had gained
could get lost with the rest of it
it was his snoring in the backseat,
it was the cadence of the cattleman’s prayer at breakfast,
the open eyes of their adopted child
meeting mine, with the rest in reverence,
I thought to make a face, give a sign
that their family’s view was righteous
but altered, that it was not quite right,
their need for demarcation meeting
their vision of the earth arriving perfect,
their need to mold children to a form
that each selected or born before had
cracked in some way when congealing
but it was these pious folks who befriended
the sinner next to me
like a homeschooled kid finding
a mastodon tooth,
like they brought in the
fresh eggs of their chickens each morning,
like they rented out bulls and sows
with tedious shipment instructions,
and that morning’s eggs were good
but now the time has come
to give the ducks some wisdom
before
a final jump out of my skin
for a swim
today I must tell these ducks,
my friends,
that the plan to turn
into a monument
isn’t working out,
that I must paddle this fading swan
from my overextended infatuation
with escape and face myself
without ripples,
that I must find the man
where Monaco meets Colfax
with the cardboard
behind his wheelchair
reading every disease
yet to kill him
I must reach him
before he is done dancing
beneath sunspots,
I must give him my name,
my dreams and my car
with the windshield cracked
in the shape of an eyelash
fallen on the pavement,
and I’ll park before six o’clock
in the middle of
the longest commercial street in
these United States,
and we’ll trade spots
and as he takes the wheel
I’ll tell him, finally as me,
that it all will end,
but that there is still a warranty
on the engine,
I’ll tell him
to try and make it home
before it gives
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