"Burn" by Agatha Sicil


The blood moon eclipse revealed its power

on a Thursday night in November.


I took the

letters

journals

and

stationery

that plagued the last few decades of my life.

This opportunity was unexpected.

But I was desperate to find the right moment.

One that has been deferred for long enough.

The night was unseasonably mild

despite the crisp of the fall.


I grabbed the lighter

and gripped it tightly in my hand.

The back door swiveled behind me

as I navigated my way towards the backyard.

I could hear the crackling of the leaves

in the distance.

The soft gallops of the land that primarily belonged to nature.

I glanced at the sky and searched between the trees.

The full moon hid behind the clouds.

There was kindling gathered by the fire pit.

The straps of my tote bag slumped onto the ground

Weighted as heavy as my heart.

This is why the time has arrived to burn.

Burn it all.


The first to go were the letters.

The promises.

The lies.

The apologies.

The prison.

The dead.

Next were the journals.

Pages torn by the dozen.

Reaching every year of my childhood.

Penned to remember the

pain

anguish

triumph and

guilt.


1993

Burn

1994

Burn

1995

Burn

1996

Burn

1997

Burn

1998

Burn

1999

Burn

2000

Burn

2001

Burn


Lastly were the notes.

of love.

of romance.

of sleepless nights.

Notes of

the blade.

The abuse.

The suicide.

The medical documents.

Burn

Burn

Burn.

Burn.

An additional light appeared above the flames.

The moon peeked through

the clouds

to shine its own blood but then quickly

disappeared.

The flames recaptured my eyes

discovering the sketch of a heart that melted the words

Just for you.

Underneath it displayed the return address to the correctional facility.

Unlocking the bars to my mental prison.

I followed the ashes floating by my side.

This was it.

The action I was frightened to take

cannot be undone.

I retreated back inside.

Stared out the back window to

Watch the fire subside.

Minutes had passed before hearing

The clatter of raindrops

Fall against the house.

Was the sky shedding its own tears on

my collection?

Cleansing the toxic fumes from the air.

The people who love me

will never know the stories that burned.

But soon I will reveal those stories to strangers

And introduce who I was


Before you met me.




Agatha Sicil is a full-time special education teacher and a part-time writer. She was born in New York City, but has lived all over the state. She is the author of many works including “Burn,” the prologue to her creative nonfiction piece, “Before You Met Me.” She lives in the New England region with her husband and children.


You can visit Agatha Sicil at https://agathasicil.onuniverse.com and follow her on Twitter @agathasicil and on Instagram @read_agathasicil