The blood moon eclipse revealed its power
on a Thursday night in November.
I took the
letters
journals
and
stationery
that plagued the last few decades of my life.
This opportunity was unexpected.
But I was desperate to find the right moment.
One that has been deferred for long enough.
The night was unseasonably mild
despite the crisp of the fall.
I grabbed the lighter
and gripped it tightly in my hand.
The back door swiveled behind me
as I navigated my way towards the backyard.
I could hear the crackling of the leaves
in the distance.
The soft gallops of the land that primarily belonged to nature.
I glanced at the sky and searched between the trees.
The full moon hid behind the clouds.
There was kindling gathered by the fire pit.
The straps of my tote bag slumped onto the ground
Weighted as heavy as my heart.
This is why the time has arrived to burn.
Burn it all.
The first to go were the letters.
The promises.
The lies.
The apologies.
The prison.
The dead.
Next were the journals.
Pages torn by the dozen.
Reaching every year of my childhood.
Penned to remember the
pain
anguish
triumph and
guilt.
1993
Burn
1994
Burn
1995
Burn
1996
Burn
1997
Burn
1998
Burn
1999
Burn
2000
Burn
2001
Burn
Lastly were the notes.
of love.
of romance.
of sleepless nights.
Notes of
the blade.
The abuse.
The suicide.
The medical documents.
Burn
Burn
Burn.
Burn.
An additional light appeared above the flames.
The moon peeked through
the clouds
to shine its own blood but then quickly
disappeared.
The flames recaptured my eyes
discovering the sketch of a heart that melted the words
Just for you.
Underneath it displayed the return address to the correctional facility.
Unlocking the bars to my mental prison.
I followed the ashes floating by my side.
This was it.
The action I was frightened to take
cannot be undone.
I retreated back inside.
Stared out the back window to
Watch the fire subside.
Minutes had passed before hearing
The clatter of raindrops
Fall against the house.
Was the sky shedding its own tears on
my collection?
Cleansing the toxic fumes from the air.
The people who love me
will never know the stories that burned.
But soon I will reveal those stories to strangers
And introduce who I was
Before you met me.