DANGEROUS BREED
i was mauled by a dangerous breed
in the Burger King carpark
left me maimed, disfigured for life
may as well been a grizzly bear
the surgeons tried their best to fix me
but they’re no miracle workers
i’m finally accepted what happened
but people can be so cruel
mothers scold their staring children
“don’t stare at that man’s face,” they whisper
as if i’m some kind of monster
but i get it - it’s only human to stare
teenagers are the absolute worst
they spit at me, throw things, call me names
like freak, weirdo, hamburger-face
maybe my face looks like a Halloween mask
but so what - i like the way i look
even though i won’t get back the feeling
OTHER PEOPLE
other people waste
life looking for
deeper meaning
i look at
my phone instead
it’s like a mirror
i’m a realist
i scroll and swipe
inhabit my wormholes
the ugliness is
frightening at times
but so is reality
CHANNELLING THE BADDIE
they say i’m channelling the baddie from home alone 2:
it’s gotta be the fingerless gloves
or the doofus winter hat with the fuzzy earflaps i wear:
the one that ruins my good hair
i have a perfectly good explanation for that:
a narcissist can manufacture excuses by the thousands
i paint myself the victim of karmic injustice:
the people want slapstick: slips, trips, falls
me, i was born a consummate performer
i will lay down my life to give the people what they paid for