"Entangled" by Afra Ahmad

I hate that I am kind. 

I get entangled every year 

in a new game of a new hunter.

People weave dulcet tales 

to lure me into their companionship 

for they know I am famished, so famished 

that I keep scouring for scraps of kindness:

a smile, a phrase crammed with sweetness, 

an act of courage;

more than enough 

to make my lips part in awe.

I hate that I am kind. 

You who is seemingly a bel esprit 

are unable to figure out 

that I can catch lies 

the same way I can recite rhymes 

that were taught in kindergarten,

effortlessly with eyes closed.

If you think I'm taunting, 

I'm prepared to recite them all, 

one by one, to you.

Shall we start with, "Twinkle, twinkle little star,

how I wonder what you are?”

I hate that I am kind.

After every betrayal, people cook 

galling excuses that they and I both know, 

make no sense

yet their audacious hearts prompt them 

to come to me so I may welcome them again 

with open arms, asking them to dine with me.

I don't change

even when seasons change,

even when their loyalties waver.

I hate that I am kind. 

This is the aftermath 

of being an enthusiast of Psychology:

you keep granting the benefit of the doubt 

thinking that maybe just maybe 

people have a lot 

on their small, bedraggled vessel of life 

and what they do to you 

might just be an unintentional error

even when it's a calculated effort 

to knock you down.

Afra Ahmad is a writer, poet, artist and calligrapher. Based in Taiwan, she holds a Bachelor's degree in English Literature. She writes about everything under the sun: from dark issues of the society to problems faced by teenagers to imparting chunks of wisdom through her poems, stories and write-ups. Her works have appeared in various magazines including Iman collective, MYM, Rather Quiet, Ice Floe Press, Olney Magazine, The Malu Zine, The Sophon Lit, Blue Minaret, Melbourne Culture Corner, Her Hearth Magazine, The Hot Pot Magazine, Ghudsavar magazine, Moonbow Magazine, Eunoia Review, Alternate Route, Ink In Thirds, Porch Lit, Zhagaram Literary Magazine, Broken Spine Collective, Duck Duck Mongoose Magazine, Afterpast Review, Unlikely Stories, Rewrite the Stars, Spillwords Press, A Thin Slice of Anxiety, Punk Noir Magazine.