Eulogy
As big as his mammoth body is;
Pot-bellied and 6’2”,
I still think his presence is bigger.
Highly Opinionated,
Gap-Toothed,
Fun-Loving,
Fierce-Hugging,
Jovial
Salt and Pepper-Bearded
Teddy Bear.
I never saw how people could perceive him as intimidating; The pieces that everyone saw
Towering,
Mean-Mugged
West Virginan who takes no shit
I get it,
And it makes sense.
But all I could ever see was a giant man who loved me.
I wanted to come on here and write something meaningful and powerful, Showing him in the light I always saw him in.
Shining glory,
Perfectly imperfect.
I’m struggling to see the words.
I think my brain is trying to protect me.
How can you lose a giant?
Nothing reverts back to normal after a giant leaves.
A giant hole in my
Lesser-giant heart.
I never knew what my father did for other people.
But they were always thanking him.
Telling me how he saved their asses.
And I beamed with pride with every compliment.
I think he was selling them drugs,
or getting them odd-jobs,
or a combination of both.
I just knew he was good at what he did.
I am trying to be good at what I do
I clock in every day,
Feed the cat,
Kiss my husband,
And do the dishes.
My lesser-giant heart does not know how to go on.
Stay here as long as you can.
I want that to mean the age of ninety-five
falling asleep in your reading chair
I can’t bear the thought of twenty-seven
or thirty-two
or even fifty-five.
When the pain becomes too heavy
I beg Heaven to conjure something right and sweet for you Love and medicine in the shape of
a blanket
a neural function
a rib.
I wish for you
A reprieve in the light
The resounding hum of a box fan lulling you to sleep.
I’ll stay pleading with God for
A pinch of good in this life
To see you through the next day.
Like warm strawberries soaking in sugar
I want to sweeten your sorrow.
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