"Eulogy" and "Stay here as long as you can" by Ryan Westmoreland

Eulogy

As big as his mammoth body is;

Pot-bellied and 6’2”,

I still think his presence is bigger.

Highly Opinionated,

Gap-Toothed,

Fun-Loving,

Fierce-Hugging,

Jovial

Salt and Pepper-Bearded

Teddy Bear.

I never saw how people could perceive him as intimidating; The pieces that everyone saw

Towering,

Mean-Mugged

West Virginan who takes no shit

I get it,

And it makes sense.

But all I could ever see was a giant man who loved me.

I wanted to come on here and write something meaningful and powerful, Showing him in the light I always saw him in.

Shining glory,

Perfectly imperfect.

I’m struggling to see the words.

I think my brain is trying to protect me.

How can you lose a giant?

Nothing reverts back to normal after a giant leaves.

A giant hole in my

Lesser-giant heart.

I never knew what my father did for other people.

But they were always thanking him.

Telling me how he saved their asses.

And I beamed with pride with every compliment.

I think he was selling them drugs,

or getting them odd-jobs,

or a combination of both.

I just knew he was good at what he did.

I am trying to be good at what I do

I clock in every day,

Feed the cat,

Kiss my husband,

And do the dishes.

My lesser-giant heart does not know how to go on.

Stay here as long as you can.

I want that to mean the age of ninety-five

falling asleep in your reading chair

I can’t bear the thought of twenty-seven

or thirty-two

or even fifty-five.

When the pain becomes too heavy

I beg Heaven to conjure something right and sweet for you Love and medicine in the shape of

a blanket

a neural function

a rib.

I wish for you

A reprieve in the light

The resounding hum of a box fan lulling you to sleep.

I’ll stay pleading with God for

A pinch of good in this life

To see you through the next day.

Like warm strawberries soaking in sugar

I want to sweeten your sorrow.