"high school: a retrospective" by Adele Nwankwo

high school: a retrospective

for emily

open and inchoate:

we soaked it up:

rap lyrics, e-cigarettes,

instagram, always-wars:

passive constancies as

common as essay

assignments and 

ugly breakups:

to think back

to those:

gray half lockers and

green half grams: 

hallways lined w/ spite

and gossip

(x likes y now;

mr. z’s totally gay):

classrooms: 

soaked through w/

einstein quotes &

malcolm x imagery

(finger always on temple):

what was it all

if not

a rehearsal: 

but you: 

hacked each dart:

like we were

living some

17th century galleon’s mutiny:

spit at the growing outline 

of office work and

adult-worded indemnities:

life: 

had to be more

than haggled-for

bondage: 

had to amount

to some x

that couldn’t be factored

for or derived from:

so we’d

skip class: 

watch shitty

movies: sneak

liquor cabinet sips:

finger ourselves to exotic porn

we couldn’t understand:

stoke our rebellion:

just us against

the looming adult world

on those late-night

million-star drives:

your beater car

like the very best

seafaring vessel

we could’ve ever stolen:

but you:

sell insurance now:

now that the enmity and thrill

have cooled in your lungs:

now that the

x comes

on a bill:

and defies burning:

and I: 

still picture the hallways:

still smoke shitty cigs:

still fly our black flag:

knowing that the

only time an ethos dies

is when a role is accepted:

or a pirate finally:

jumps ship:

Adele Nwankwo (they/them) is a genderfluid member of the Nigerian diaspora. They are a healthcare worker by trade, but have recently taken up writing as a means of exploring the connections between identity, trauma, and humour. Their poetry is inspired and encouraged by figures like Gwendolyn Brooks, Douglas Kearney, Ocean Vuong, and Ed Roberson. The have work upcoming in several journals.