"How to Survive Christmas" by Alison Colwell

1. Tell everyone you're fine. 

2. Pick yourself up from the bottom of the stairs, climb back up to the kitchen and take the phone from your mom to talk to the 911 operator. Hold your daughter close. Repeat that you are fine. 

3. Hold your breath as he brushes past you to leave the house and return to the guest cabin. 

4. Lock the door. Too late. It should have been locked before. But too late is still better than leaving it open. It's a way of pretending. Pretending is important. 

5. Repeat to the 911 operator that you are fine. Tell her again that you don't need an ambulance. 

6. Go to the bathroom and swallow some Advil.

7. Call your friends. Tell them everything’s fine. You just need company. It's Christmas Day after all, and company is a good thing. When your friends come over, tell them that you’re fine.

8. Tell them your daughter needs distraction. 

9. When he broke into the house and pushed you down the stairs - she screamed. Now you can’t get that sound out of your head.

10. Be grateful your son was still sleeping.

11. Stay busy in the kitchen. Keep your arm pressed tightly to your side so no one notices that it doesn't seem to be working. Plus holding it still relieves the pressure on your ribs. 

12. When the police arrive, tell them that you are fine. 

13. The RCMP constable takes one look at you and calls for an ambulance. 

14. Tell the paramedics that you are fine. Try not to breathe deeply, it hurts too much. Smile.

15. Ask them about their Christmas dinners in an attempt to distract yourself when they take photos of your body and recommend you go to the hospital. 

16. DO NOT GO to the hospital. It's Christmas Day. That would be a huge mistake.

17. Take the turkey from the fridge, brush it with oil, season it, and then, awkwardly, slide it into the oven. 

18. It's hard to peel potatoes with one hand pressed against your body. 

19. When the police constable gives you a copy of the restraining order, try not to cry, try not to let anyone see how scared you are. 

20. When they escort your husband off the property, don't stand in the window and watch. It will only make everything worse.

21. When the police come to tell you they are leaving, tell them you will be fine now.

22.  When your friends have to go home to their own Christmas dinners, reassure them that you will be okay. 

23. Go to the bathroom and swallow more Advil.

24. When your mom leaves, close the door to your bedroom, lie down and let silent tears fall. Don't let the kids hear you. 

25. The day is almost over. You made it. You are going to be fine.

Alison Colwell graduated from the BFA program at UVIC and is now the Executive Director of the Galiano Community Food Program, a charity focused on increasing food security on Galiano Island. She is a single working mother of two children with mental health challenges and a survivor of domestic abuse, all of which inform her creative writing. Alison was recently awarded a Canada Council for the Arts Grant to work on a series of interconnected essays that weave fairy tales with memoir.

Her creative non-fiction work can be found in the climate-fiction anthology Rising Tides, Folklife Magazine, The Fieldstone Review, the NonBinary Review, The Fourth River, The Humber Literary Review, The Ocotillo Review and is forthcoming in Two Hawks Quarterly and Hippocampus Magazine, and her fiction in Daily Science Fiction, Flash Fiction Magazine, Crow & Cross Keys, Carmina Magazine and Tangled Locks Journal.

Website: www.alisoncolwell.com