"One Won’t Hurt" and "Song" by Joe Haward

One Won’t Hurt

Five seconds

temptation

to

regret.

Ten years building

home/family/pride/somebodiness

foundations only 40% proof.

Flooded

on desire’s plain

wasted//wasted

Going back/back to where I started

Illusions of overwhelming appeal

shimmer across disillusionment’s mask

hidden beneath intoxicated surrender.

Your tears tear regret from me

addiction’s excuse to drown in devastation

self-pity a regular companion

well acquainted to serve its master.

Perhaps

when

it

all

dissolves

surrounded by vomit and obscenities

will I finally sober to my senses.

Song

The mirror taunts you, screaming fear and disgust

yet I am translating

another language.

No.

Other words entirely.

I look at you, and the mirror sings to me about you

delighting that form and light and shadow and moment

share this dance to frame your beauty.

But I watch you shiver, shame freezing self compassion

until your words turn the air blue with hate.

But I will never listen

for I see who you really are.

My job is never to hold up a mirror

but help you listen to our song.

Your mother and I sang it before you were born

whispering it to womb and wonder

humming it at midnight feeds

dancing to it on every birthday

recording it for when you struggled to hear its tune.

My child

we sing

whilst the sun kisses our face

or the rain soaks our souls.

My child

we sing

through tempestuous seas

or gliding upon hope’s wings.

My child

we sing

every moment

without ceasing

without regret

our hearts full.

My child

We sing

To you

You’re beautiful

We love you.

Rev Joe Haward is an author, poet, and heretic. Born into an Indian family, Joe was adopted with his identical twin brother and grew up transracial.

Alongside two published nonfiction books, he works as a freelance journalist challenging political, societal, and religious corruption, with articles regularly featured in the national news site, Byline Times.

His work can be found in various publications, such as A Thin Slice of Anxiety, Outcast Press, and Cinnabar Moth Publishing, where he writes horror, noir, and transgressive fiction. His poetry has also been nominated for the Pushcart Prize.

His debut novel, Burning the Folded Page (Cinnabar Moth Publishing) will be released in 2023. Find him on Twitter @RevJoeHaward.