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“Snorkmaiden” by Tom Snarsky

I spent $100 on pizza and gas today. It was nice pizza and regular gas. I don’t really have $100 to spend in this way because I owe a lot of people money. They’re not regular people though, they’re corporations. I owe them so much because I bought nice things from them — things nicer than the pizza, like my car or an education. Arguably the car is not actually nicer than the pizza, although it can do more things. You cannot drive a pizza to work. The pizza needs no gas, though, and leaves me in only a little more debt, to a credit card company that just upped my limit. Now I can owe them more for gas, for fancy pizza, but not for the education, which I cannot charge. Some people (almost certainly not the people reading this, but definitely some people — they are out there, making decisions) might argue that I should not get the nice pizza while I am in the unclean state of owing money to all these entities. It is those people who I’d like to remind that Snorkmaiden, daydreamer though she be, can (according to “be very resourceful when she's in a tight spot.” If it comes to it—and I hope that it won’t—I will sell my gold anklet.

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