"Tears of Loss" by Andre F. Peltier

“Nous sommes

La triste opacité de nos spectres futurs.”1

-Stéphane Mallarmé

In autumn,

I sit and drink coffee

or tea or hot cocoa

and watch the traffic on the street,

the people walking dogs

or rushing to office buildings

or late for class.

In autumn,

the coffee or tea cools quicker

with the nip of winter

on the horizon.

Those future flakes,

just around the next corner,

will fill the sky replacing

leafy hues of amber and orange.

One time,

after pumpkin carving

and the tears of another lost year,

the coffee cup warmed my fingers

and I saw a young woman

run for a bus.

Her collar turned to the winds

and her eyes shaded behind

the last vestiges of summer days:

her beach-worn sunglasses.

She paid her fare and was gone.

The bus too, gone

like the wild, youthful days

loafing in Nirvanic diner bliss.

One time,

after the final yard clean-up

with the fears of tomorrow taking hold,

I watched a pair of opaque ghosts

discuss tropical adventures

with beer and women.

These ghosts sat transparent

in my peripheral dreams.

“When you go,” one said,

“they let you do anything;

the women are up for whatever.”

In autumn,

the tears of lost years

bathe us in predictable futures.

They dampen the hems on our dungarees,

our corduroys, our perfectly tailored slacks.

We roll up cuffs,

but the sea of tears keeps rising.

Our shoes full,

we return to coffee or tea

or humble hot cocoa

and breath deep the still, sad music,

the sad opacity of long

days yet to come.

1 from “Toast Funèbre” by Stéphane Mallarmé.

Andre F. Peltier (he/him) is a Pushcart and Best of the Net nominated poet and a Lecturer III at Eastern Michigan University where he teaches literature and writing. He lives in Ypsilanti, MI, with his wife and children. His poetry has recently appeared in various publications like CP Quarterly, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Provenance Journal, Lavender and Lime Review, About Place, Novus Review, Fiery Scribe, and Fahmidan Journal, and most recently in Menacing Hedge, The Brazos Review, and Idle Ink. His debut poetry collection, Poplandia, is available from Alien Buddha. He has three collections forthcoming in 2023, Trouble on the escarpment from Back Room Books, Petoskey Stones from Finishing Line Press, and Ambassador Bridge: Poems from Alien Buddha Press. In his free time, he obsesses over soccer and comic books.

Website: www.andrefpeltier.com