Peri glared at her husband before answering my question. “I always hated that dog. He loves that stupid dog more than me.”
Hades returned the glare. “I’ve had Cerberus since he was a puppy. Like I was expected to give him up?” He paused for a minute and before continuing. “And as always, whenever you return from above, you act like a spoiled brat. That got tiresome centuries ago.”
Peri let out an exasperated sigh. “I am NOT a brat. My parents just miss me when I’m gone, that’s all. You know how they don’t like visiting down there. You’re rude, abrasive and lord about like your shit doesn’t stink and the lesser demons treat them like trash.”
I’ve been a marriage counselor for many years and have seen my share of odd couples, the normal on the surface couples, celebrity couples and everything in between. I never thought I’d be helping the gods and goddesses of ancient lore.
The couple sitting across from me reminded me of that Paula Abdul song, “Opposites Attract”. She was young, beautiful, full of life, and vibrant. She didn’t have a mean bone in her body. He was older, and while he treated his wife like the Queen she was, he often came across as gruff to his minions. He still had his good looks about him, and his wife adored him. Their centuries-long marriage was rock solid when they got along.
Currently, they were not.
I sat across the room from them. This was the second time they had agreed to meet with me together. It was not going well. Both stubborn, each firm in their belief of being correct.
I held up my hand before speaking. They knew they were being annoying.
It seemed like they behaved like this because of their identity or their confidence in escaping consequences.
“Let’s try something else. You have expressed your love for one another to me. Tell your partner why you love them.”
Hades and Peri glanced at me and then shared a look.
“I love you because you treat me as an equal.” Said Peri. “As much as I love and miss my mother, she can be overprotective. When I’m in Hell, you value my opinions and don’t laugh at my questions. Your devils come to me for advice and respect my answers.”
Hades was quiet for a bit. It had been a while since he last heard that. “I’m sorry I made you eat those damned pomegranates. I was just obsessed. I had to have you. And I’m happy that you have found happiness with me. I know this sounds silly, given where we live, but everyone down there adores you. Even the worst of the worst of my devils. You possess a wicked sense of moral judgment. I’ve seen the justice you have doled out when I’ve been away. I don’t say this often enough, but I’m impressed.”
When Peri smiled at him, I understood why he fell in love with her. Her smile and her feelings came from inside, from her heart. She looked at me and admitted, “I was a brat at first. Yelling, temper tantrums, the works.”
Hades nodded in agreement. He gave me that winning devil’s grin and said, “She was. I didn't help much with her adjustment down there. I was bossy. I yelled back. It took us a while to reach compromises on various things.”
Grabbing on an idea, I asked, “What were the hardest things either of you had to compromise on? Who did the dishes at night after dinner (that got a laugh from both), or who was going to decide which in-law’s home to eat at for the holidays (more laughter)?”
Hades spoke up, “We had to learn how to respect each other’s boundaries. Even after all these centuries, there are lines neither of us will cross. We had to learn that the hard way.” He poured more water into the glass he was drinking from and continued, “And I can’t cook for shit, so I will always do the dishes.”
Peri nodded. “I hate cleaning. And I love to cook, so we got that down pat. Hades had to learn how to behave in front of my parents. He can have a temper, and yes, as I’ve said, I do as well, but he has a temper when he’s mad. But being up here is not the best place to show off that temper. It took a while for my parents to come around.”
I glanced at the clock behind them on the wall. “Well, this has been a most productive hour. I am delighted at the ground we have covered. Do you have any more questions before your time is up?”
Peri smiled at her husband. “Can we get a cat?”
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