Ten Gibraltar monkeys shoved their way
into the busy cafe at the top of the Rock where the cable car stops. The
sliding window overlooking the monkey habitat had a latch that no one
noticed had come unattached. Miniature fingers fumbling finally
primated it open wide enough to wedge their wilder world into mine. A
biggish one bounded from my table squishing my hamburger in one hand- Ketchup, Pickles, Chaos, Bite, and Pound are the names I gave
those first ones, then Obligation, Anxiety, Restlessness, Bill, screeching,
breaking plates, eating their fill, chomping fries that once were frozen
and now were flying to the floor clenched in furry fists. Feta flung from a
salad, and Bill picked up a belt pouch from a barstool and fled. I would
have backed into a corner or made my way out the door if it weren’t all
happening in my mind. There was nowhere to go. So, in the midst of
madness and jumping monkeys, I paused. Restlessness floated
mid-leap in the air. Silent, steady, peaceful, I passed satisfied through
my own inner room to find that all but one of them dissaparated,
dissolving back into the subconscious wilderness stretching outside the
windows. Those weren’t my monkeys as far as I know, especially
Ketchup, who left a smudge on the glass in his last unkind moments. I
sat on the floor under the pub table, breathed a battered prayer and
gathered Obligation in my lap, where he sat tamed, and offered me a
fried shrimp mostly squished. I took a bite, patted his head, held his
hand, and some hope for how this broken space might be transformed -
warm and full of guests. A table set, ready to receive the whole weird
world with fresh bread, free water, wine decanted, comfort food, beauty planted in belonging and recognition. I set the table. One calm monkey
minded his business and swept up broken pieces while the sunlight
made the space bright and music played a soundtrack for my soul. And
there, even in my inner world made whole I saw Anxiety waiting at the
window, watching quietly for now. Stupid monkey.