"The One That Never Got Away" by Aishwarya Jha-Mathur

I’m always so much smarter

when I talk to you

in my head

a cinema smile, stars

leaping off my tongue

like kamikazes

we never needed those

seas foam between tables

my hair down

my shoulders

again

and frontiers fold

in the sweet impairment

of memory

glinting

between my lashes

nights snatched from fate

and dipped

in chrome—a promise

a picture

of what might

still be.

In my head I am not afraid

to touch your hand

you touch me back

your finger smoothing

the creases

of my agonies

so I can barely

speak.

I can barely speak

the damning syllable

lodged

in my throat

deviant aigus

ellipsing like gnats

towards the lamp

you swat one,

standing, scanning figures,

let’s go—

and I empty before I remember

you will be with me

when I am alone

Aishwarya Jha is a writer, designer and entrepreneur from New Delhi, India. Her work recently appeared in a digital anthology by Oxford University and is forthcoming in multiple literary journals, including Livina Press, Boats Against the Current and Isele Magazine. In another life, her award-winning one-act plays were performed around the world, in addition to being taught at workshops. Her debut novel will be published in 2024 and she is drafting her second as part of the Asian Women Writers programme.