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"the sweet spot", "unboxed:", "violent parasomnia", & "not being Kate Bush" by Jane Ayres



the sweet spot


she weeps

& creaks


into the ooze & creep & scrape


& crushing crackle of whenever

trim / shape / slice / sculpt to

feed this

unstable dislocation

every crazy corkscrewed thing

braiding

birds

– in and out of cages (yellowing wallpaper)

or tangles of manicured truth


what do you reckon – pink or blue?

is there a sweet spot?


merging the question

she unwraps

another

sixty shades of purple

kaleidoscopic calamari

curating the caricature

chargrilling

hearts

nicely done



unboxed:


it’s a little bit Saturday

when I

bite into your

warty heart

(a hearty treat)


Sunday is no longer

such a

terrifying

prospect




violent parasomnia


peachskinned

she commits murder

in her sleep

walking


painting the apple

spitting rainbows


such strange delights

what did it taste like?

breaking hearts


glow & she’ll eat you alive




not being Kate Bush


first time i saw her on Top of the Pops singing

Wuthering Heights i wanted to be Kate Bush /

& it was 1978 & I was not-so-sweet sixteen but

i wanted to be her for the next 30 years because

she was everything i aspired to be / & because you

admired her talent & creativity / respected her

originality / fancied her incredible mind & perfect

body / if i could only look more like she did (i

frizzed my hair / dyed it russet / wore bright leg

warmers & tight vests) learn to sing like her (i

had lessons) / write profound lyrics & memorable

music (i got a music degree & composed songs)

but i could never be her & as i approach my sixtieth

birthday / hear Running up that Hill play on a nostalgia

radio show / i wonder / why / i tried so hard / for so long

to be someone else / for you / manicuring authenticity

why i never felt enough / if i could only




UK based neurodivergent writer Jane Ayres re-discovered poetry studying for a part-time Creative Writing MA at the University of Kent, which she completed in 2019 at the age of 57. In 2020, she was longlisted for the Rebecca Swift Foundation Women Poets’ Prize. In 2021, she was nominated for Best of the Net, shortlisted for the Aesthetica Creative Writing Award and a winner of the Laurence Sterne Prize. Her first collection edible was published by Beir Bua Press in July 2022. Website: janeayreswriter.wordpress.com

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