We Watched a Dog Die on the Weekend of a Wedding
We sat -my daughter and I-
on a park bench
eating a snack.
A treat after a long walk;
a restful pause before a busy day of family and friends.
Across the path another family and their dog.
A large ball of fluff and fur resembling a shabby wolf- lying still.
Close beside it lay another dog- wagging its tail.
A few family friends stood nearby
all waiting and watching.
We sat, snacked, and watched.
We sat and snacked and I began to comprehend.
Unknowingly, we had joined a vigil.
A mournful wait
for an impending release,
and final goodbye.
A moment imbued with love and imminent loss
flush with the light of a midday sun.
The stillness of the moment was
broken by a needle produced from a white van
A short walk and
a shot is buried into fur
into the pink flesh beneath all that fluff and fur.
The dog dies
Right before our eyes.
We sat there and…
I thought of our dog at home.
I thought of grandparents, parents, siblings, spouse…
of hospices and palliative care teams, visitations and funerals
I thought of loved ones and friends
of tragedy and truth.
I thought of my young daughter sitting close beside me
Uncomprehending, uncomprehending, uncomprehending.
The silence of the scene was
disrupted by my daughter’s curiosity:
What are they doing?
Why are they crying?
I fear a day of real comprehension
For her
For me.
What was this we were witnesses to?
This haunting scene- this Holy moment-
So exposed to the elements
to all eyes and passersby.
The second dog continued wagging its tail.
Uncomprehending, uncomprehending, uncomprehending.
We packed our snack
And returned to our walk.
What else were we to do?
A Waking Thought
I dreamed a nostalgic nightmare
The cool caress of a lover’s hand
once so familiar, now distant and nearly forgotten
returned to me in my rest.
I wake haunted by the memories
this vivid vision has invited
so rudely into this room.
As my partner, my friend,
My chosen companion- lay asleep beside me.
Why trouble my mind with such fantasies,
Dream-weaver?
deceiver, who seeds my thoughts with what-if’s-
What was…
What could have been…
As my waking mind begins to shake
The dreary dreamlike state
and return once more to the reality that is-
I love this life:
all that has come
and all that is
and perhaps all that will be.
But damn my dreams that break this bliss
causing my mind to wander
this restless wonder when I wake.
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