2-1/2 cups plain flour: mother-in-law Vera
8 tablespoons butter: Dan, my husband.
1-3/4 cups sugar: “Let’s host my sister’s engagement party!” said he sweetly.
1-1/4 cups whole milk: our new kitchen. Said: “Let’s show it off!”
2 large eggs: Kayla and Kyle, bride-and-groom-to-be. They won’t last. Breakable.
1/4 teaspoon salt: Vera will rub it in at the party: “Ever gonna give me a grandbaby?”
1/2 cup lemon juice squeezed from her sneer.
2-1/2 teaspoons baking powder: my surprise. It’ll get a rise.
1/2 cup diced figs: fresh, gooey. To close mouths—including Dan’s—that may hang open.
The flour and the eggs blend, pour on the sugar as butter opens the door. The mixture takes in the milk and our kitchen, sniffs: “Too white.”
Bake that at 350˚F for 15-18 minutes. Cool, say: “My bun in the oven will take longer.” Sprinkling “Bitch” and/or icing sugar optional. Serve and enjoy.